If ever I had a message to deliver, this has to be it.
God had a perfect plan and man took a different route. Half of my life as a reborn Christian was an extreme effort to return to His plan for me.
When I was 12 years old, I knew I had to go to commercial high school, which was half a block away from our home. However, I was not allowed to and had to attend technical high school where my father was a teacher. When in Grade 10, I tried switching schools and an army of teachers did everything they could to prevent me and, as I was a minor, I did not really have a say.
Before I started two years of conscription (compulsory military duty) I signed an employment contract with a large industrial enterprise, as an engineering student. While doing my national service, I realized my mistake and wanted out; it would have cost me about a month's salary to buy my freedom. As I was under age, I needed my parents to co-sign the termination and they refused. The end result was that I spent a year studying something I was not called for and which I did not have aptitude for. (Pay careful attention to Exodus 35 verse 30-35.)
When I turned 21, I resigned and pursued a career in finance. It mean that I had to repay three years' salary, some of which I have not even received, but that is what the contract said. Plus interest at a double figure rate.
I started over, at age 21, where I should have been when I was age 12. I did so with an enormous burden of debt, in a country where, in those years, I could go to prison if I did not repay.
My first attempt at getting saved ended up in verbal and physical abuse because I went to a teacher, while having been in Grade 10, to seek advice because the Satan had convinced me that I was destined for eternal hell, as I was brought under the false impression that I had blasphemed against the Holy Spirit. The teacher was also a missionary and a true disciple. In my home, we were Christian but there never was any hint of God having a will and the "self-made man" ruled. And not always in a male body.
Having started a new career, my small salary and the immense debt burden placed tertiary study via correspondence out of my reach. My lack of academic education in commercial law, economics, business economics and accounting, has always been counting against me and stripped me of my potential to excel in life.
I am 53 today, living on a meager disability grant of US$120 per month and living in a dilapidated house shared with six other families and having to pay an immense daily rent. My first laptop came from 2002 and was a gift from a former prostitute. It does not even function properly and getting anything done is a real challenge. Me hosting a blog site is almost miraculous, as few others would have the tenacity and perseverance to even try working with this.
Getting back to where I should have started in Grade 8, in 1976, is not easy when this 53-year old need to retrace his steps and follow the spoor that I should have back then.
Here I am, over qualified experience-wise, not academically qualified at all and living in a country where a white male is effectively ruled out of getting a job, through current discriminatory labour laws.
My specific calling is not getting answered to and this is affecting the lives of many. Part of my preparation for this was a career in the public service, where I was placed in the financial division and where I have learned effective and efficient ways of short-, medium- and long term planning, managed a multi-million dollar budget and also had the opportunity to further my expertise in information technology. Something I am really good at by now, ask the teens and young adults who cannot keep up!
In 1999, after I had lost my career and my home, the Lord so miraculously provided me with a fantastic job in Cape Town, where I would be marketing retail systems to SME's. With the job came a good basic salary, an Opel Astra 1.8 and an excellent commission structure. This job was given to me around 4pm on my mother's birthday.
The snag was that we did not have a home then and have arrived at my parents' a few weeks prior. On the day that I took the one hour drive to Cape Town for the job interview, I had to wait for a second interview and took my wife and children to the museum in the Gardens. There, I by chance (divine intervention) met an owner of a gold mine who was looking for a long term buyer cum expertise partner.
As we needed a place to stay and my parents would not accommodate us, as they were trying to sell their large home, they forced me not to take the job, but to accept another. The Lord said "don't go, as there you will see strife, famine and disease; also, there you will die."
Yet there was no alternative and we went. My new employer was a Christian who verbally abused his staff, even assaulted them physically and he also was involved in major crime and racketeering. Smuggling drugs, abalone, staging robberies to claim fraudulently from insurance companies, even sexual abuse of staff, was what we experience there. He eventually was caught for tax fraud and convicted. This was a coastal village far from the city, almost at the southernmost tip of Africa. The end result was strife, tremendous hardship, famine, terrible disease, heart attacks, stroke, etc. And I lost my anointing, so that it became impossible to have this inner conviction. Every decision became a battle of the mind and this would wear me out to this day.
We were left penniless, without a vehicle and we were sent from one place to another, 36 extreme traumatic moves between 1999 and 2009. We spent a few winters in cold, wet beds, on the floor or on the ground, in all sorts of temporary shelters.
The Lord showed me in a dream that I would meet a small cousin at an airport. A few months later, a Christian asked me to tow his caravan to Mossel Bay, about four hours away from us by car. I had a license to tow, which he did not. We arrived late at night and he initially suggested that he would sent me back to Cape Town by plane. His wife and I agreed, as it would cost much less than driving me back and returning to Mossel Bay. Our drive back was a nightmare as he was being presented with visions of an airline pilot's jacket and stripes, that kept appearing in front of him. He would then suddenly brake, from 180km/h, with big trucks behind us. He kept on cussing the Satan, but I knew it was the Holy Spirit. See, that small cousin of mine is an airline pilot, we would have met at the airport as predicted by God. Her family would then have given me a start in life.
It did not happen and we continued living out in the open, sleeping in 2-man tents, with all our clothes usually wet and moldy.
I can ramble on forever, but the end result is that, due to disobedience, I am stuck at age 53, cashless, without a tertiary education, having to start where I left off at age twelve!
Meanwhile, my calling is on hold, which is to use my contacts all over Africa to source minerals and precious metals, gemstones, etc., so that I can fund the mission work of the remnant. Isaiah 23:18, Isaiah 45:14.
The mining communities, instead, are being unfairly exploited by ungodly buyers who arrive loaded with cash and leave with diamonds and gold ad dirt cheap prices. These predominantly Christian Africans are being left in abject poverty. God did call, I did respond, yet my own actions herein is being delayed. Myopic investors came and went, people who only see big bucks and not the bigger picture.
Thousands of people are suffering in extreme conditions today, because of this failure. Even Christians from a large country abroad participate in this horrific exploitation. They are abusing our fellow believers, some who truly are the salt of the earth and pure-hearted people, even though very basic.
Anyone telling me that our disobedience is OKAY and who tries to tell me that God is OKAY with this, wake up to Matthew 7:21-23!
I can dig up scores of others instances where this work of mine had been thwarted. Even so, I have not lost faith, I never gave up hope, I am expending whatever resources I have in either pursing this or in touching hearts and lives on my daily walk. I do not sit around, doing nothing.
Today, I challenge the relatively wealthy comfortable and opinionated Christians to come and equal my faith, my tenacity, my guts, my gumption, my obstinate persistence and perseverance in not letting go of my call of duty. Like a good soldier, I never leave my post and I focus upon my mission.
I do plead with Christians to forget what they think God has in His mind and what not, that He will simply send a bolt of lightning and correct our countless failures. Forgives, yes He does that! Carrying out His work on earth, as what He had called and equipped us for. If we do not do His will, if we do not execute His plan, where does that place us?
Please, people, wake up to the reality that you are here to do God's will and not your own. You are here to execute His plan and not frustrate His ambitions. If you do oppose His will, are you really guided by His Spirit? Are you really the "sons of God" whose claim to fame is being led by Him?
The fool says "there is no God!"
This was God's Plan but we are very far from getting His will done. Disobedience sabotages His will!